Real News

Did you know? The Internet Chronicle is the most important source of news on the Internet, and is published by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Supplied with all the facts – fake, real, and alternative – brings you only the finest truths available to the human mind.

Internet Chronicle

No seeds. No stems.

It’s dank journalism.

You might have noticed untruths at Internet Chronicle are punishable by mutilation or death. To date, we have only mutilated three “people”, and no one has yet been put to death over mistruth. But the war on truth has only just begun and, rest assured, there will be casualties.

There is no truth that isn’t real truth and no real news that isn’t printed by Lebal Drocer, Inc.


“We own everything that matters.”


At Lebal Drocer, Inc. it is our mission to establish contact with you, the mindless consumer.

Every day, Lebal Drocer engages associates and  consumers alike, brushing elbows with the unwashed masses in an effort to bring work and opportunity to even the dumbest peasants in the badlands. Do not sully this arrangement by attempting to contact Lebal Drocer.

“Don’t call us. We’ll call you.” That’s the Lebal Drocer Guarantee.

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour
Dr. T says: “You WILL be called!”

Lebal Drocer is known to interface with consumers of money and products across a spectrum of entry points.

We may reach out to you in any combination of the following ways:

Face to face interviews

Interpersonal communication

Inappropriate contact

Do not attempt to contact Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Under no circumstance should you attempt to call, email, write to, or approach the premises of, Lebal Drocer, Incorporated.

Attempts to reach Lebal Drocer are interpreted as acts of aggression and could result in loss of life, liberty, financial stability, and possibly excommunication. All efforts to contact Lebal Drocer, Inc. are met with swift litigation.