Board of Directors

Board of Directors

It takes many wealthy, important people to run a powerhouse like Lebal Drocer, Incorporated. Get used to these names, because in a few short years they’ll control even the most trivial aspects of your sad, simple lives.

Raleigh T. Sakers

President, CEO of Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Our founder, Raleigh T. Sakers, was once a successful business leader. Now he runs Lebal Drocer, Inc.
Our founder, Raleigh T. Sakers, was once a successful business leader. Now he runs Lebal Drocer, Inc.

Before succumbing to alcoholism, Raleigh T. Sakers was a strong business leader, and a very good man. I mean, he really had his shit together. He lost everything in the divorce, though, and alimony is kicking his ass. Plus, child support. You understand.

That’s when Sakers got the idea to start a new company. He created Lebal Drocer with a vision: He wanted something he wouldn’t have to think about, try very hard at, but also makes a lot of money. Lebal Drocer, Inc. is not just a shortcut to success for your business, but ours, too!

Sakers never turns off his personal voice recorder.

Statement, by Raleigh T. Sakers

Dr. Angstrom H. TroubadourAngstrom H. Troubadour
“Real Doctor”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour is the real doctor who brought you many fine products including the Panoptisphere, Mind-Over-Matter at-home singularity kit, Anatabloc, TerrorMax, and the award-winning, Red Bull-Benadryl recreational drug experience, PLUS an all-new dieting strategy that revolutionized the American Man.

Dr. Troubadour does not accept HMO, medicare, medicaid or Humana insurance. He is a cruel, calculating businessman who only cares about YOUR health.

No eyesight? No problem! Dr. Troubadour’s books are published exclusively on audiobook. Any/all transcriptions are bootleg FAKES and illegal to posses.

Being a hero of one thousand faces, Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour is an important source at The Internet Chronicle.

Professor Cram Course

Professor Emeritus, Lebal Drocer University (tenured)

Professor Cram Course

Professor cram course says: “Dicks are for pussies.”

4/5
RATEMYPROFESSOR DOT COM

STRICT
TAMALE AWARD

Most helpful 1-star review:

“professor cum crust” by Anonymous
(a reference to a stain once seen on his pants and used against him by students who either dislike him as a teacher or who know what he’s doing)

Flexible office hours.

Professor of [Giving You the Business 407] at Lebal Drocer Univ.
December ’21

PhD. in Women’s Studies
(Internet Chronicle styleguide: this fact should follow every first reference)

These important people created Worlds for you. Now, look in:

Publishing